My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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