Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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