she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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