Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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