Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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