when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
