sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
