I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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