just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
