I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize