i permit you to call me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
