I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
