Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
