im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
