hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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