Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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