Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
