I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
