I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize