I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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