Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
