She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
