I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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