So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
