You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
