I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
