just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the day after is always just damage control
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
