My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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