the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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