This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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