He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am one with the molecules
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?