we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
