I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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