you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
whose ass print is on the piano?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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