College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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