She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize