I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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