He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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