The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
