I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
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One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have fence marks all over my body
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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