He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
