Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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