Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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