Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize