you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
