i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
