dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
