At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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