I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No subtext here. People are naked.
porn star boner night. come get it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
