life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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