I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I need a beard to bite.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
