From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
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I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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