Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
