is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
