big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
