Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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