you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
