would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
