I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
