my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
