tell your sister to shave her snatch
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
