And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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