so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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