Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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